Review: Safety Not Guaranteed

Screen Shot 2012-12-20 at 19.40.24

Safety Not Guaranteed is an “indie-spirited” romantic comedy with a background in time travel. And it blows chunks. It’s not funny, not interesting, the characters aren’t endearing, the dialogue is not engaging and the one tiny moment of utter brilliance is wasted. I’ll discuss the morsel of (potential) genius at the end for some spoilertastic fun. Summary; must try harder.

The plot is mostly irrelevant – it exists as a background to give the characters a reason to interact. This is theoretically fine, but the characters are boring dicks. A small team of reporters are investigating a want ad in a small-town newspaper requesting a partner to go back in time with them. A douchey reporter thinks it’ll make an interesting story, and gets permission from his bitchy editor to take a couple of hapless interns and check it out. (Can you tell I despise everyone in this film yet?) They drive to the town and make contact. It’s not a bad elevator pitch, and I’ve got no problem with a character-based comedy/drama with an indie spirit like Adventureland  or Cyrus. The problem is the absence of endearing characters with humourless dialogue.

For a comedy to work, it has to be funny. This is not. For a romance to work, you have to care about the characters. And I couldn’t have given a shit. The two leads – Darius (Aubrey Plaza) and Kenneth (Mark Duplass) are minimally characterized. Kenneth might be insane and they train with guns and have dorky conversations. Darius contributes almost nothing and I drift off and then wake up and still don’t care. There are also some side plots with the douchey reporter guy and the other intern which aren’t good, but they provide some reprieve. Anyway, Ken busts out his zither. Dear filmmakers; please stop so desperately trying to be whimsical. You have to earn whimsy. Instead, you have earned only disdain.

Fundamentally, there’s no reason to see this film – you’ve seen the indie thing before, and done much better. You want post-university uncertainty? Watch the TV series Girls, which is actually compelling and funny. If you want to see a romantic comedy,  Silver Lining Playbook succeeds at both romance and comedy. If you want time travel, Looper is pretty decent and Back to the Future 2  is vastly underrated. The one thing I like about the film is that Ken looks like comedian Dave Hill and I’m a huge Dave Hill fan. SPOILERS BELOW TRAILER!!

Grade: E+

 

SPOILER-TOWN BELOW THIS LINE….

Okay, one bit that *might* be genius. The girl that Ken is trying to save back in time is actually alive. He finds this out and remarks ‘Then it worked’ which means he already went back in time and succeeded. So then I was all like ‘WOAH! Did I miss a bunch of stuff like a Shyamalan flick?’

No. The one split second of awesome is wasted and not expanded upon.

13 MINUTE DARK KNIGHT RISES HD FEATURETTE

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES – Warner Bros. Pictures & © DC Comics

A new 13 minute featurette has been released by Warner Bros. for the upcoming film The Dark Knight Rises, due on July 20th. The film will have a lengthy running time of 2 hrs 45 min, so remember not to order that super sized drink with your popcorn, otherwise you’ll need endure the embarrassment of pissing yourself in the movie theater. Better yet, think of it in terms of preparing yourself for surgery – don’t eat or drink anything for 12 hrs prior to seeing the film. That way you’ll guarantee a non-disruptive viewing experience.

Anyways, let’s all geek out…

Official Synopsis:

Warner Bros. Pictures’ and Legendary Pictures’ “The Dark Knight Rises” is the epic conclusion to filmmaker Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy.

It has been eight years since Batman vanished into the night, turning, in that instant, from hero to fugitive. Assuming the blame for the death of D.A. Harvey Dent, the Dark Knight sacrificed everything for what he and Commissioner Gordon both hoped was the greater good. For a time the lie worked, as criminal activity in Gotham City was crushed under the weight of the anti-crime Dent Act.

But everything will change with the arrival of a cunning cat burglar with a mysterious agenda. Far more dangerous, however, is the emergence of Bane, a masked terrorist whose ruthless plans for Gotham drive Bruce out of his self-imposed exile. But even if he dons the cape and cowl again, Batman may be no match for Bane.

Leading an all-star international cast, Oscar(R) winner Christian Bale (“The Fighter”) again plays the dual role of Bruce Wayne/Batman. The film also stars Anne Hathaway, as Selina Kyle; Tom Hardy, as Bane; Oscar(R) winner Marion Cotillard (“La Vie en Rose”), as Miranda Tate; and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, as John Blake. Returning to the main cast, Oscar(R) winner Michael Caine (“The Cider House Rules”) plays Alfred; Gary Oldman is Commissioner Gordon; and Oscar(R) winner Morgan Freeman (“Million Dollar Baby”) reprises the role of Lucius Fox. The screenplay is written by Christopher Nolan and Jonathan Nolan, story by Christopher Nolan & David S. Goyer. The film is produced by Emma Thomas, Christopher Nolan and Charles Roven, who previously teamed on “Batman Begins” and the record-breaking blockbuster “The Dark Knight.” The executive producers are Benjamin Melniker, Michael E. Uslan, Kevin De La Noy and Thomas Tull, with Jordan Goldberg serving as co-producer. The film is based upon characters appearing in comic books published by DC Comics. Batman was created by Bob Kane.

[Via Collider]

25 MINUTES OF THE AMAZING SPIDER MAN

(C) COLUMBIA PICTURES – THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN

Do you fancy seeing 25 minutes of the upcoming The Amazing Spider-Man movie? You do? Well you’re in luck, because budding editor Sleepyskunk (definitely not a pot smoker) put together this 25 minute compilation, in plot order, of all the video that is in the public domain from the film’s promotional material. Using all the trailers, actor reels and making of featurettes to give us pretty good rundown of the entire plot – counting for approximately 20% of the expected run time for the full length movie. Something film studios are getting annoyingly good at, which is why I refuse to watch any more Dark Knight Rises trailers, since the first teaser.

Anyway, I could say spoiler alert, but in theory everything in this clip is already out there in one form or another…so enjoy:

[Via Rope of Silicone and Cinema Blend]

FOLLOW-UP: Despite the fact that this was made using only publicly available video supplied by Sony Pictures, the video was pulled from Vimeo. Says user SleepySkunk on Twitter: “I received no notice or anything. My account has been deleted off Vimeo as well.”

[viddler id=a0ecba06 w=545 h=363]

The Amazing Spider-Man in 25 Minutes from sleepyskunk on Vimeo.

PROMETHEUS BEHINED THE SCENES – VICKERS

A behind the scenes featurette with Charlize Theron as Meredith Vickers has been released. The clip sheds some light on the character after appearing to spend most of the time lurking in the background. Theron described the character as “a suit who slowly sheds her skin throughout the film and also is somewhat of a villain who definitely has an agenda”.

If you want to catchup on all the Prometheus related viral videos & trailers, click here.

PROMETHEUS ELECTRONIC PRESS KIT

Mine’s bigger….

[WARNING - CONTAINS MINOR SPOILERS]

[LATEST NEWS: UNFORTUNATLEY IT SEEMS 20TH CENTURY FOX DIDN'T LIKE THE EPK GETTING OUT, SO THE VIDEOS HAVE BEEN REMOVED]

An electronic press kit or EPK as they call it in the biz, has found it’s way onto the net, with 3 clips of roughly 40s each. The first clip is of Fassbender’s David examining a ceramic vase container which houses a 4 back of bottle green glass tubes – alien test tubes perhaps? or an alien version of Carlsberg beer -

ah smooth and refreshing…nectar of the gods…man my stomach feels cramped….BURST! Probably shouldn’t have drunk that beer Dave.

The second clip is of the Prometheus ship landing, which has already been seen before , on this blog, but If for some reason you haven’t seen it I’d recommend checking out the HD version here instead. The third clip shows the crew desperately racing away from a dust storm while trying to return the alien head of the Space Jockey to their ship.

The three clips are then repeated again, but have subtle differences in background music and audio levels. Thanks to prometheus.net for the video.

If you haven’t seen any of the previous clips, teasers, spoilers or trailers then click here for the complete coverage so far.

Also check out this dope track from the Prometheus soundtrack called “Mystery of Substance”